Root Beer Goggles

71 aspects

2010-09-02T15:47:00.002-05:00

there are less than 71 aspects to this slice of cherry toast
i will not go on to bore you with each individual aspect

do you have a place for me to take a nap?
like there under that tree on the hill with the breeze gentle and 75 degrees?

Seasoned Seas

2009-10-02T15:34:00.003-05:00

The dishes are so dirty in the stream of fresh water. The minnows are queasy. Pure sunlight is coming up like a puppet over the dirty snowy hills and I am taking it easy. Bend the light with your left eye. Prism time. Dime in my shoe. Pure lettuce in the box tipping over the reel to reel canoe. That's what you show. Wet lentil smushed into the oak flooring and a tidal wave of flavor making itself unknown.

patterns of flavored ice

2009-08-31T11:20:00.003-05:00

proverbial squid lozenge
classic rock cd sampler between two slices of hard bread
sweat lodge keycode
188628545674167

resin

2009-08-27T12:02:00.002-05:00

liquid resin is the byproduct of low level bypass concrete pourings
and is the viscosity of my current showboat
i showboat through the oil looking wanly at the sun
knowing full well my commentary is like that of an egret
or of a plum floating in some ancient oriental wine

crack the jug motivational poem for slugs
but i don't seek i squint to peek
and let it wash like guash

cherry cola

2009-08-25T12:42:00.001-05:00

credit card gummy bear beat it back in the sandwith Charlie Chaplin's canehow do we know if the medicine is fresh?go to Pittsburgh and reinvent the electric carwith pine cones and masking tapeand cherry pits andbrandy from a plastic tub

exerpt from the journals of the Giant Baby

2009-08-21T15:32:00.001-05:00

lobby of the liquid nation
liquidator liquidates for a reason
no time to sell a bucket of reason
lobster crawling toward the seasonin'
hit me with a salad tray and let the bees in
drywall gives my hands a crease-in

Typical Jazz Family - Quick Portrait

2009-07-10T15:06:00.001-05:00

She is a pumpkin visitor from the island of flat cakes. You have heard her play the modified bassoon, I assume. She and her half-sister are here for the summer. Slightly obscured behind the drapes. They'll come out when they are comfortable. Later, much later, on. Her brother is there in the corner, standing, playing forward thinking jazz on a boxy plugged-in George Benson type guitar. Nice to hear. Haven't seen him since he was a cracker eating dirt devil. The music sounds nice with the clarinet. Played by a man stiff as plywood. He's the father of the family. Old but looks not terribly old. Still stance, loose playing but not sloppy. Quick notes that all have the right shapes leave his horn and go out to mingle in the air with the round warm tones of the brother. It's perfect cracker and cheese music and drinks. Strong drinks with half a pill dissolved. This family is a jazz family and with that comes the full package: popped water beds, purple pills, Velcro shoes, flags of imaginary countries hanging from the front porch, ant problems, slippery ceilings - you for sure get the picture. It is typical of this generation of jazz family. Sad but happy. And then neither. 1 sister, 1 half sister, one still standing clarinet playing old but not too old dad, and a mother who is on another planet. She's a female astronaut. A bracing beauty with blood as cold and whispering as a Neptune dawn. She's smart, too smart to be a jazz mother. She built her own rocket from chopsticks, toothpicks, and guitar picks. Installed a hamster drink dispenser filled with Mojito mix. She is as cold as a northern bell hit with a cold stick at the end of the day. And she rings long and true through the neighborhood. Like a marble eye in zero G.

only one is really any good

2009-06-19T14:34:00.001-05:00

I think you'll agree that only one of these band names is any good.

1. Lantern Rental and Repair
2. Herb Specs
3. Growbot
4. Big Mint
5. Mushroom Forecast

PS

2009-06-19T14:28:00.003-05:00

guess which one of these will be the possible name for my possible solo project.

1. the woolly mathematic
2. the pros
3. the practice shots
4. winterfjord
5. gusts of hail

if you guessed the practice shots, you are right. its a decent name.

10 Most Dormant Bands in this Zip Code

2009-06-18T15:22:00.002-05:00

1. The Squid Valley Maids
2. Veal Marmalade
3. Mix'd Nuts
4. The Uninhabited Islands
5. The Nurses of Planet F
6. Deliberate Lingo
7. Fox Scorpion
8. The New Airplanes
9. The Oats
10. Twisted Tweety

tuesday

2009-05-26T10:28:00.001-05:00

chipped moon laughin through
clock says 6:30
slack jawed, plaid
wine on tweed

bugles crying brass
rows of corn and blue dragon dirt
sardine tins burning on coal
whiskey water teeth rinse cup
sailboat up on blocks
one crooked line of spray paint gold

mini-prose

2009-05-22T14:00:00.002-05:00

Hyper-resonated snow crystals keep on falling down. I can hear the Earl Grey over bubbling on the tea machine. The ear muffs are hanging on the brass hook by the drafty window and outside is a harsh wonder. Goretex bodysuit is there but won't look at me. I am in my three layers of beige warmers and the LPs are stacked against the heavy 1890's footstool. Where are the toadstools? Spores slumbering in the ice. Crystal tears of the ancient world and the sun not melting the branches but just skeptically glinting. Wood is chopped and stacked in a small pile by a rusty, frozen Toyota Camary the color rouge. The only sound that works is the sound of tear stained timber with strings strung across and strummed in the 70's. Dry bread. Stack and load. Moonlit. Doesn't matter. Crispy corners and wild eagles.

20 LPs

2009-05-22T10:31:00.003-05:00

1. Loretta Hackenberry - Finger Lakes of America
2. Misses Elder - Sunset Morning
3. Harmonica Women's Union - Blues
4. Sparkle Collection - Penny Nickel
5. Natchez - Hundred Dollar Shoe
6. Big Young Man - Melted Extension
7. Fold Museum - Starchy Isolated Puffs
8. Puff Bag - Steam Rag
9. Shark Circle - Strict Fiddle
10. Irish Plaster - There's the Harbor
11. Ice Dandelion - Lion Caves
12. Anthology - Pierce Ear
13. Probably It's Wednesday - What Day Is It?
14. Peppermint Change - Wheelbarrow
15. My Shoe - My Shoe
16. Reconstructed Statues - #8
17. Strong Tease - Whip
18. Hockey Puck- Steel Concrete
19. Dusk - Musk
20. Cheap Life Marathon - Distrust

regarding shrimp

2009-05-21T16:00:00.006-05:00

perhaps someone within 100 miles is cooking shrimp
for certain someone is - at a restaurant
there is such a thing as Red Lobster
it is a place where you can go and have the seafood experience
dip a net into the sea and then whatever you get
you can cook it with butter
and have something from the bar
not a lemonade
have something nicer
something cold
i'm paying for this
take a look at the wine list
how about a cocktail?
do they have something with the word "wharf'" in it?
a shrimp cocktail is not a cocktail
how about a martini with a big fresh cooked shrimp in there?
the oily vodka infusing it's just slightly rubbery meat
hey, just ask and see if they can do that
let's get a big order of the shrimp
i want to stay here until i can barely walk
in a good way
nothing destructive here
just us here having a seafood experience
right off the highway
in the darkness

croissants

2009-05-12T14:23:00.003-05:00

triple wax on the goal post of no refusing
posion cumber bun
poem for the spiritual ballerina
on the tip of a scone
frozen

shadow in the submarine
an Egyptian with homemade croissants
the highway is a wasteland
scones litter the ditches
heaven is wearing a bow tie

this week is thistle awareness week
our eyes are turning the color of the sky
generic canoe paddle history book
sausage links

broken croissant and the butter runs
through the aisles of humid learning
and the eyes of a robot eagle
pupil radius increasing

Sidestage Lineup

2009-05-04T16:16:00.003-05:00

Noon - Brain Bot
1:00 pm - Early Morning Goretex
2:00 pm - Vessels of Stimulation
3:00 pm - Dynamax
4:00 pm - Isolate Beancurd
5:00 pm - Visions of Mohanna
6:00 pm - Green Velvet Curse
7:00 pm - Can't Elope
8:00 pm - Veal Cutlass
9:00 pm - Cork Wall Dreamwalkers
10:00 pm - The Vernal Equinox

Note pad

2009-04-30T14:29:00.002-05:00

Winter belgian waffles as the snow comes down in hampers. And I pluck craisins off dried dead bushes and grab acorns from the nests of rats. I am off the grid and here I am making waffles out of dirt and grass and snow and twigs. I am so sorry I left the city now.

Willis plays racketball in a snowstorm. Everything reeks of the color blue. I am on speaking terms with the humid thumder. Trouble. Big Steve plays the bongos. Deadly ice. Minty frosting.

The EP

2009-04-30T14:22:00.004-05:00

These 10 EPs really made a mark on my windshield.

1. Resin Huntress - The Coin Toss EP
2. Huge Envelope - Courtesy Balloon EP
3. Finger Jackson - Jumpy Orange EP
4. Ripple Car - Whimmy EP
5. Junk Hunk - Yarn Festival EP
6. Commemorative Beanbag - Flight into Space EP
7. York Minty - Perspective EP
8. Manager Manager Manager - Sharp Point EP
9. Yolinda Rollingston - Hussle Crew EP
10. Milk Wagoneer - Brand New Persons EP

number 7 pencil with rainbow lettering

2009-04-24T15:26:00.003-05:00

the time has come for the maynerd ferguson cassette
pop toast and crinkle cut fries
dunked in capital S
and smoothed over with a flat piece of bent brass

a warble
glass marble
frogs in the vent

magic froth accumulating
in the early morning dense air
where hot moments become flat

and
hoppity hoppity
activity

2009-04-09T14:34:00.003-05:00

intented tendency for the warmth of seltzer
special temperate climates for the meanwhile

These are the 10

2009-04-06T15:50:00.004-05:00

Festival Manager - Moth Poms 12"
Retro-Juice - Cutlass 12"
Yogurt Milk - Icy Rain 12"
Mr. A - Swarm 12"
Sworn In As - VP 12"
Corn Museum - Gulp 12"
Houston Airport Gift Shop - Life in 3D 12"
Mama - Grainy 12"
Flattened Rainbow - Nothing 12"
Nose Pierce - Punker Party 12"

the menu for Tuesday (pick only one)

2009-04-06T14:52:00.001-05:00

1. balsa wood frog
2. lemon rind melba
3. can of enzymes
4. tough roast eel

poem for the letter 9

2009-04-06T13:30:00.002-05:00

i give you this penguin flashlight
and then i walk into the dawn
the early morning is an old acquaintance of mine
i have banjo pants on
snow has fallen and can't get up
ring the bell
(Starburst endorsement)
wearing the night time
on

Friday is experimental prose day.

2009-03-27T14:53:00.003-05:00

Quirky potato chips. Unsure. Lessons of chicken salad. These new salsas and none of them very good. Gunpowder and cherrywood. The resin from the bow now dried and clumpy. The old violin cracked from dryness. The scent of fresh mozzarella cheese wafting in from the cheese box. Life has no form. Light is made out of all the colors of the rainbow and then when they are mixed, it's just white. Not whole wheat, strangely. Whole wheat is where it's at. Jimmy can swim. Through the night of love and lasagna. Myths of the lasagna man. Told by his grandson through dance. Runs a bicycle shop. Flutes are nice. Wood flutes played by homeless people. Homeless people. People without homes. Homes. Wheat bread. Homes. Wheat bread homes. Holmes. Home sliced wheat bread for the homeless people. Wheat scented flute wood. Lost in the woods. Confused by the layout of the maze. Maize. That is corn. Corn chips. Candy corn. Horn playing frogman. From the 1940's. Lost in the mud. Fudge. Fugue played on English Horn coming through a linen tweed speaker. Corn nuts. Sweet wine drunken by the flute player and shared with the drum man. Frogman in the audience smoking hash through a heavy mustache. Heavy set. Veal as the main food source. Wealthy frogman with a penchant for flute music. Hard bop played by the softest instrument. Nothing to do but float and jitter. Wooden flutes. Fidget with crystals. Pry the flute out of the hands of the living man. The man who plays the flute has had a lunch too heavy, of veal and fudge and now the song is leaden. Fudge. Fugue played on English Horn. Cathedral music played by a frogman who has a thing for lasagna. Despondent. Drought. New Orleans turkey sandwich has pure lobster curd jammed in there. Made by hand. The owner is Left-handed James. He has an earring in his eye lid. Heavy set. Veal as main food source. Teach me the flute. Curls in his hair kept moist with the gypsum cream.The sandwich has the lobster curd. That is the product of the lobster stored in pouch of sorrow. The tear duct of the mullosk. Veal as the main food source. Pork-scented flute velvet. Total torture. Bliss. Fog. Smoke. Liquid smoke. Smoke. Smokey Joe's Lobster Bisque. Lifestyle pancakes. Cakes pan-cooked. Perfect and perfect. Helping. Bruce Hornsby playing the harp. Lights low. Peace.

Grilling Songs

2009-03-12T11:19:00.004-05:00

Without further ado, get your grilling on post haste:

1. Donald Erlander - Grill Cracklie
2. Victor Sharp - You Go Grillin'
3. Frons Gibben - Grill Like Rain
4. Grace Sumpter - Grill Like The Open Sky
5. Shamus Rimpenstackler - Open Up The Grill
6. Lisa Droob - First Grilling of The Season
7. Lonnie Rose - Just Say Grill
8. Queen "Huns" Joy - Like Beef on the Grill
9. Dick Jumps - Learned to Use the Grill Young
10. Candy Reese - Pump The Grill

10 Pretty Decent Noise Cassingles from 1963

2009-03-11T15:01:00.002-05:00

1. Mandarin Hideway - Cruise Boot
2. Flipping Walrus - Goal Postage
3. Veal Pancake - So Goes It
4. The Utah Bandit - Fancy Bread
5. Cakes & Thunder - Los Alamos Picnic Guide
6. Whimsy & Rhubarb - Eastern Waffle
7. Wings N Sauce - King of Wings
8. Finger Castle - The Earth is Sleeping
9. Ronald & Victor Ortega - Vestibule Cave
10. Mice House - Still Juicing

Top 10 shoegaze cassettes found in my knapsack

2009-03-11T14:49:00.003-05:00

1. Disuse - Shrag
2. Belt - Vaccuum
3. Niche - Source
4. Grayze - Itch
5. Victor - Trounce
6. Cutlery - Laden
7. Rose - Dish
8. Candy - Hose
9. Hops - See
10. Daisy - Maybe

quick pick

2009-03-05T10:58:00.001-06:00

a bashed up cherrywood licorice electric guitar
with a whammy made from herringbone
i play it until the universe dies
and in its corpse
like a thin flower
i rise

ten original dances

2009-03-04T15:02:00.001-06:00

1. the side swipe
2. the October surprise
3. the witch's broomstick
4. the cornstalk walk
4. the lazy lion
5. the frog leg lunch basket
6. the towel-off
7. the sand in me hair net
8. the quick rise biscuit
9. the eventual collapse
10. your house is small

Powderized Lobster Shell (For Aches & Pains)

2009-03-04T14:37:00.006-06:00

What is it? It is actual powderized lobster shell. You can shake out a palmful of the powder and then mix with a lubricant or lotion of your choice and then apply to some part of your body (or your whole body if need be).

Why? The idea here is that the powderized lobster shell contains some natural pain relieving compounds that would do well as a general analgesic.

Where did this idea come from? The theory is that since lobsters don't appear to have aches and pains, that their shell would contain this trait and could be transferred to humans transdermally. It is my belief that these compounds could cross the blood brain barrier and go directly to the centers in the brain that are responsible for perception of aches and pains, and for a time, those signals could be interrupted.

Is there any science behind this? Not yet. But I am working with Dr. Joe Osmond (University of Ottawa) to get the science piece done.

How much will it cost? Here's the good news. It will only cost $9.99 for a month's supply (5 ounces). You get a scalp massager too that stimulates your dreams to allow lucid (or at least more vivid) dreams. This has been reported to us by Jim and Sarah Mankowski (from Ottawa). The scalp massager is made from a ridged clam shell that fits nicely in your hand and if your rub it across your scalp, it gives a massage by virtue of the natural grooves. Also, it imparts tiny magnesium particles into your bloodstream transdermally (very relaxing) that several people have reported (Jim and Sarah Mankowski, Dale Rosen, Kip Underbite, and The Daniels Brothers - all Ottawans).

snake eyes

2009-03-03T14:48:00.000-06:00

the snake was made from old wrapping paper/how he crawled through the earth/you had to be there/crinkle crinkle crack/eating crackers off the floorboards/s-s-s-singing at the top of his lungs/little snake eyes/rolling his eyes at you/here to sing your blues right away/replacing them with clarity/charitable little singing wrapping paper snake eyes

built-in

2009-02-27T15:05:00.000-06:00

those who can't clap because their hands are wringing
take some time
drink some wine

undo the doing that did you wrong
with a whip strike of that sarong

grass growing like a beard and mustache
taking little liberties
the built-in life

supposed to look so original
honeycomb sunrise
sticky cold frog skin
lentil gray veneer

no issue

2009-02-10T14:44:00.003-06:00

the spongy formula is succinct
no questions that need to be inked
across the soft wet potato paper
at dusk
in the musk of the elevator

DJ icewater and his friend on the computer
putting together a solution to the problems
caused by a previous solution
will share when it's ready on
some new screen
maybe via aggravator

salt sprinkled on the leather
no good

pepper as a nasal laser
hip horray

horrid corridors of total leisure
say no

misty jungles of the ancient playzone
fine

no issue

CSI Miami Vice

2009-01-15T11:56:00.006-06:00

I've been drafted into CSI Miami Vice
But I'm not scared
I was born rough
and ready to deal with law breakers
I just need to find the right wind breaker
to match my italian leather clogs
and future phone

the criminals won't stand a chance

Somebody cue the beats
Somebody cube the beef
Time to toss me a crime salad

blank post

2009-01-14T13:54:00.000-06:00

Fiction

2009-01-07T11:18:00.001-06:00

"Restore my hair with that cream."

She was smoking in the non-smoking room, like a queen bee, surrounded by drones. I was using a smokeless pouch to get my fix. She was like diamonds in my eyes, burning and glinting and making me feel rare. Like a rare slab of pork meat. Languid but tense. When I tried to speak the words were heavy like pudding. English pudding. Paste. I spoke the words anyway. The words I spoke were in the language I learned before I was born. The language that angels speak. It sounds like a cliche but it is actually the language of love. I don't recall what it was that I said. Maybe "hi".

"Restore my hair with that cream."

She whispered through the smoke and I walked up to her like Richie Rich walking up to a stack of gold bracelets. I took the gel tube of heair cream from my canvas tote and nodded, removed the cap, applied the cream. That is the last thing I recall. Then I woke up in this hammock here. In the lemon yellow jumpsuit. Scorchingly.

a poem from the early journals of david hasselhoff

2009-01-07T11:06:00.004-06:00

make everything smallest
that way there is no size war
it will be like a shaker of dust
all of us
partyboys all
shake us out like dust mites
and give us tasks to do
put us in suits and give us flutes and
call us America's answer to the Beatles
then leave us alone
like silica pellets
in a box of styrofoam

10 EPs of moderate distinction

2009-01-07T11:00:00.003-06:00

1. Hayes Frondheim - Don't Punch Me
2. Ancient Lasers - Orlando-Style
3. Alan Young - Lemon Cologne
4. Billy Bright - Steamed Turnip
5. Broadway Steve - Frosted Gull
6. Nix It - Tax Payers Delight
7. Microfoliage - Shank
8. Hooper J. - Nothing But
9. Frankly Undercarriage - Geranium Smartdrink
10. I'm Ninety One - Snow Shovel

Wizard Tales - Volume 1

2009-01-06T13:21:00.001-06:00

The face of the wizard peeked out from the hole in the ancient Redwood tree. Then, quickly, it retreated. Luckily, no one saw the face. Except for one person. Jinglebells Roberts. The one person who should not have seen the wizard's face. For reasons we are soon to find out. Not too soon however. First we need to set the scene and tell you about where we are.

Location: Junior's Appliance Compound. North of the Sugar Valley. Up the road from the rubble pit and just past the cougar caves. Now you have a sense of the precise location.

For those of you who did not have a chance to read the lengthy prelude that was made available as a digital text download, I will catch you up on the necessary information you will need to know about Jinglebells Roberts.

1. He is the length and width of a regular size Whachmacallit? Candy Bar. He is not the same shape as a Whachmacallit? Candy Bar.
2. He wears red felt pants and a hat made of grass.
3. His ears are lovely little waxy things.
4. He is an herbivore. Only herbs. Herbs and sauce. And jugs and jugs of burgundy wine. Spicy burgundy.
4. He is not amenable to wizards. For reasons we may or may not discuss at a later date.

So, back to the action. The wizard's head peeked out and was seen by no one. Except for Jinglebells Roberts. Jinglebells was not seen seeing the wizard. If he had, the wizard would have probably thrown a smoke cloud and attempted the flee or perhaps an immediate battle would have ensued. Perhaps a claw battle or a splash battle utilizing special potions, lotions, and seltzers. As things unfolded, there was just a sighting. A sighting of the quick moving wizard's face. The face peeked out and then quickly went back into the hold in the tree. So, the wizard still was in the tree most likely. Maybe not though. Jinglebells had seen some trees that were fully hollowed out and were connected to underground tubes leading back the wizard's underworld.

A note about the wizard's face: It is small and has a pinched expression, like a prune with facial feature. Also, it is downy and in the morning, dew-laden. In the night, the faces can become somewhat shiny and/or bulbous.

exerpt from "octopus"

2008-12-16T15:46:00.000-06:00

Dressed down and lightning clean. I argue with a bee about the venom. Arrange the coupons and start a scene. Table cloth pant suit and nothing on TV. I climb down the iceberg and order tea. This that and a hat full of lemon Z. Then the flabby saxophone comes in darting around looking through the checkerboard room for pizza bits. Merciful lantern ask. Twisted weasel in a choke hold has raised a good pint of delicious gelatin. Strap me down into the bubblegum cart and tie me to a flock of wasps. Electric violin pollution. Now for the fruit thang. Electric violin retribution. Who keeps messing with the fader? Fruit thang. I will use my solar plexus as a serving dish. To protect and to serve (peach flavored wine in the bath tub). Rainbow bubbles. Brush your teeth with merciful starlight. Little pelican icon. Football pants. Shampoo made from the same herb that killed a philosopher in the year 56. Burns to clean. Burns the impurities. Dressed down in pair of fake leather pom poms. Look terrific tonight. Shrimp flavored hormone dip. Restore the 70's. Immaculate cheese nips.

These LPs fall short somehow, just slightly

2008-12-16T10:05:00.003-06:00

1. Headlamps - Visions of Gossamer
2. Design of House - Viking Lasagna
3. Purple Remo - Court of King Hug
4. Invisible Danny - Come and See Us
5. Take Us Out For Lunch - Briney
6. Continue On To Freedom - Lunchbox Donut
7. My Wax - Omega 3 Dot Net
8. Jumpy & Southwest - Cream of Goretex
9. Huntress - 8 Colors in the Rainbow
10. Box Scaggs II - Takedown

for small times

2008-12-09T14:52:00.001-06:00

she's the nickel on the dollar
twenty of her is like 1000 of another one
if you save it up you will win the jackprize:
a cantelope

shrimp flavor poem going out to a list of folks

2008-12-09T11:53:00.003-06:00

this poem goes out to all the people who make this world work
without whom the world would not work
like the people who refill the pop machine and the people who create the coins
and the people who make loave of every kind of bread
and to all the professional dancers who light up the stage
and the people who built the stage with wood and metal
and the person who throws a peanut shell onto the stage
for no reason

here goes:

lights on in the country house
where a wise little cookie crumb named Wassen
crinkles up his face like a
live squid
the candle shivers when the ghost blows
the creaky mattress is made out of toothpicks and grease
and hot florettes

squid ink pooling at the bottom of the hill
where a squid layeth
valuable steam rising off the bayou
hickory chips flip
and scuttle in the shrimp flavor

imitation isolated hercules fruit puff
devoured by the little wax pelican
noise emanates
from the pencil shavings
of dr. j

10 Great LPs with the word"Couch" somewhere in either the artist name or the title

2008-12-04T10:21:00.003-06:00

The Electric Schoolbus - White Couches
Maynerd F - Fingerprints on the Couch
Zipe - Cream Coloured Couch
Cruise Mist - Couch of Life
Thems The Couch - Crouch For Life
Couch Discount Band - Get Em Cheap
The Go To Couch - The Mansion in the Rain
The Zero Dollar Couch Experience - Mister J
Jimmy G. and Herman L. - Why Couch?
The Cobra & Zebra - Sleeping on Couch

"starchy gemstones" brings no returns

2008-11-21T13:46:00.002-06:00

Your search - "starchy gemstones" - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:
Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords.

10 recent LPs that are significantly obscure

2008-11-20T15:57:00.003-06:00

1. Squid Venom - Welcome To The Dungeon
2. Superspicy Dunebuggy - Oh My Heavenly Broomstick
3. Deep Fried Ice - Wears A Size 13
4. The Token Man - Change For The Games
5. Crouton Asterisk - Maybe It's The Mice
6. Mommy Said Knock You Out - Heavy Purple Lens
7. Jerry Ex-Babcock - Court Ordered Bringdown
8. Liston Gerwinch - The Sears Catalog Is My Dream Cake
9. Jumpy Rubbish - Europe, North Dakota
10. The Hotcicles - Pear Shaped Sponge

New Fiction for the Kindle

2008-11-20T14:25:00.002-06:00

Chapter 1

Powderized, windswept vistas. Gremlins who are hidden in the sky are looking down and weeping. The weeping reactivates the powder and again, new mountains form, also. Big Jimbo who is meanwhile munching on an alligator meat sandwich cocks and eye at the fog in the bog where he heard a quick splash. It could be the mackerel leaping or it could be a swamp weasel falling prey to a swamp lizard. Either way, there could be meat to shoot. Meat to shoot is meat to eat. That's the nature of lunch around these parts. Oh, the insects. Too many, too hungry. Would like to have hands the size of card tables to swat and squash them. Would need to swat oneself into oblivion. So, better to just get bit until the bites atop bites don't feel.

Chapter 2

Big Lizard weeps into a napkin as the black skittles fall into the drain grates. Those skittles contained hydrocarbons. It's humid in here. It's a women's sauna. There is heard the sound of a Grain Belt being cracked into. And then a series of glugs.

Chapter 3

From out of the mists, Carlos emerged. The sound of cymbals crashing and the sight of 41 miniature penguins doing the Dum Dum dance. The out they wheel the seniors. How dare they. Carlos in a purple sweater vest and his hands holding a neon yellow Frisbee with jewels glues to it. Space Frisbee. Complicated. Pools of gravy in the street. This is a post-celebration celebration. There is a pushing sensation as the goretex rips and in flows a sense of foreboding. The sound now is the cooing of a dove. The sight is a penguin with a baton grinning fiercely into the camera lens. Then there is heard the sound of puffins scuttling on metal. The audio could be piped in. Mothership. Slogans. Carlos spits into the sky. The penguins sit down into the gravy on the street and lay down. A performance. Wimpy.

Five Obscure Remixes

2008-11-18T15:16:00.004-06:00

1. Van Climp - Toenails Towards The Moon (Far East Remix by T.U.B.)
2. DJ Rubber - Oh, Swan Swim (Underwater Remix by Mix Nut)
3. Swine Candle - Scent of Lobster (Matrix Remix by Stewball)
4. Nowhere Near To Be Seen - The Trident Chewer (Curdled Remix by Nitwit)
5. Seafaring Vessel - Cucumber Sargent (In A Van Remix by Toffee & Co.)

november jive

2008-11-18T09:55:00.000-06:00

I had breakfast at midnight last night. Had a slice of sponge cake and a glass of miracle juice. It knocked me down into the hole where angels hide their root vegetables so other angels don't find them. Hey, have you ever see angels fight? They use their wings as weapons. Wait, you don't think that angels duke it out? What stories have they been telling you? Angels fight. Usually about whose stuff is whose. Like their root vegetables and shiny gems and they like to say "that cloud is mine" and the other will say "no it's mine". Then they throw in and battle with wings as weapons. No one ever gets hurt of course. The battles disappoint the Lord. But mostly he finds them slightly annoying. On rare occasions, he'll smote an angel. Just turn it to burnt feathers. Painless. The most kosher death a deathless being can endure. Mostly the Lord is busy. Busy doing nothing apparently. He's like a big teen laying about. A big gorgeous lazy bearded man sprawled out on a big orange corduroy couch. He exists more or less. Often less. Sometimes more. He wears shorts and has pretty much hairless thighs. Like you'd expect.

What are 10 good CDs I can buy for my greatgrandson?

2008-11-17T14:21:00.003-06:00

1. Sensor Dime - Gotten To The Tip Top
2. Dill Weed Sunblaze - Camera Lens XYZ
3. Variety of Grapeseed - Cobble Stone
4. Vanquish The Fob - Jimmy Doons
5. Creature For King - Oh Month of May
6. Forgotton Chess Game - Pray For Lightning and Greasy Cake
7. Pilsner - Grow A Hat
8. Galaxy of Recliners - Low Heat Cook
9. Can't Hear You - Fingers of Butter
10. Limitless Wine Carafe - Yarnballs

moons rocks

2008-11-17T08:46:00.001-06:00

gems stones

2008-11-17T08:45:00.001-06:00

Strawberry Letter

2008-11-14T13:43:00.005-06:00

Strawberry William was like a lot of young men these days: he hated to shampoo his hair. Unless, that is, he had the most lubricating and emollient-rich shampoos to use.

Dear Strawberry,

You don't know me but I'm the fellow in the mirror. Everything about me is the mirror image of you. When your hair is greasy, mine is greasy too except on opposite sides. Will you wash your hair today with whatever shampoo is available? Or will we go another day looking like this and not leaving the house? Are you waiting for that box to arrive in the mail with the sweet potato pie turtle cream with essence of acorns and windswept valleys shampoo and conditioner in one to arrive? Just use the Suave and let's go do something. Maybe take the city bus uptown and drink a malt and people watch. Or maybe for a bike ride and a sandwich and a soda. I don't want to be your mirror image today unless there is some shampoo involved.

Love,
Resmond

call this yellow florets

2008-11-14T09:50:00.004-06:00

I see dinosaurs dismembered on the global highway
but then I open my eyes and see the unicorn with a handheld tracking device
he's calling orders for the new world
and putting in a pizza request

I see small members of a plastic army
rubbing shoulders with a flame
they are up against a world of insects
luckily their hands are balled up into fists

I see hydro-powered wonderworlds taking the storm by storm
the book is ripped and taped and ripped
by a weathered newscaster

I see yellow florets dissolved in hot oil
I see pounds and mounds of medicine rice
and a hero's cup of pink champagne spilled
across the grains

A Taste of Science Fiction

2008-11-14T09:05:00.001-06:00

Retired wizards in their states of disrepair standing around and chatting beneath the luxurious and dangerous cosmos. They have the golden key to the snack booth on Planet R but they will not reveal its locale. Perhaps it is buried in Tobacco Mound or in the stairwell of Skyway Foyer in the Midnight Region where Doctor Nobody plays havoc with the sky jewels. Or perhaps they keep it on their person, casual as can be. No one would know it if they kept it at the bottom of the yeast tub in Old Mister Frog's work shack on Country Road 5000. What difference does it make where the golden key is? No one cares anymore now that snacks have gone virtual. They've been replaced by images and ideas and sometimes, by transdermal skin patches. I could use one right about now. They come is 14 million sizes and flavors. My latest craze is Fat Boy Slim sausage flavored with rave crystals. It's sort of an on the go thing that boosts you up and gives you the sausage flavor. Uniquely Fat Boy Slim. It's his brand. Or rather, the brand he left to his kin many years back. Another of his best sellers is called Juicy Crusts. Its the part of the bread you usually don't eat but filled with juicy gel. And there's a treat in there: plenty of aminos to keep you up all night with no crash. They put that product under the umbrella of Powerhouse Lunch options for the young. By young they mean anyone under 400 years old.

Open Face/Source Sandwiches, Notes on

2008-11-04T15:46:00.002-06:00

Rough strips of bacon laid out on a futon mattress and then mustard squeezed over it. That's my art project. It's called "Open Source". It means that our world is changing as we speak and no longer resembles the world it was several minutes ago. And this project also speaks to the breakfast sandwich, specifically the "open face" sandwich which has fallen out of favor in the last several years. Why?

Another thing is how I like "open face" sandwiches. Can you even call them sandwiches if they are "open face"? I don't know the answer and I don't want to know. I do know that this morning I had an open face with 2 fried eggs on toast splattered with Louisiana and habanero sauce. I paired it with a cup of coffee. Then I was out the door on the bike with short sleeves. I went down and voted and that was cool. Now I am limp like a piece of spinach that has been sitting in ranch dressing for too long. I wanna go home and turn on the TV and drink beer and watch Obama become our next president.

Voting for my sandwich

2008-10-28T11:12:00.001-05:00

I am typical in that I have difficulty deciding between roast beef sandwich and ham sandwich. I walk up to the lunch counter and then when it is my turn to order, I have some difficulty coming to a decision. Some days I have little trouble with this and just go right up and say "roast beef" or sometimes, I say the other option "ham". Those are the easy days for me when things flow easy. But today is one of those days when I might not be able to choose right away. Right now I'm thinking it's a ham day but maybe it's really a roast beef day. Maybe I should have them put both kinds of sandwich meat on the sandwich. I wonder if that is going to solve this conundrum. Hey, I bet they taste fine together, really fine!

The Greatest 10 Jams of the Week - Part 2

2008-10-13T14:36:00.004-05:00

11. Jimmy The Pilgrim - Ice Cube Bath
12. Town Hall Talkie - Vespa is Trashed
13. Cramped Walrus - America For President
14. Huge Whirlpool - Life and Liberty (and also, Donut Holes)
15. The Crystal Spiderweb - The Has Been Has Been Webbed
16. Cookie Foam - Hewlett Packrat
17. Big Time Steve - Index Cards with Words on Them
18. Look & See - The Good Chemical is Natually Ocurring
19. The Chef is On Fire - Motor Steak
20. Guard The U.S.A. With Your Life - Ice Cream Boyfriend

10 Greatest Jams of the Week

2008-10-13T13:18:00.003-05:00

1. Juicebox Proxy - Fencepost Hope
2. Barry England - Glad To Be Home Again (In the U.K.)
3. Glazed Oats - Fingers Walking With Toothpick Walking Cane
4. Way Out Jessica - Any Electric Train
5. The Roots of Heather - Sky Cream
6. Medical Napkin - 44 ounces of Pain Relief
7. Sticky Comments - Styro-Mafia
8. Sting Plus - Custard Household
9. Included Sample Form - Purple Dots
10. Sherry Froth - Together, Itching

10.13.08

2008-10-13T10:04:00.000-05:00

flying through the air

2008-10-03T14:20:00.001-05:00

my suggestion

2008-10-03T13:20:00.001-05:00

ramp it up, shore it up, bolster it up, and reign it in.

morton's most recent posts

2008-10-02T15:59:00.002-05:00

miracle gel was placed in a vase at the top of the tall staircase
and then party began
the saloon doors flung open
and in came the kids
they had a coating of reverb on their heads
they were looking like pork rolls
they were looking for miracle gel
they were free
but when they found the gel they became
free ee
z

-------------

morton's chandelier
is a dustbin
cantelope magic wand
broken in the pond
here i stand like a fish
against the net
making perkins wishes
against the egg shaped eye

Campaign Theme Songs Unveiled

2008-09-26T15:25:00.003-05:00

At tonight's presidential debate, both candidates will be unveiling their new campaign theme songs. After much hand wringing, both teams have made their final decisions. You be the judge. Did they make the right choices? Do their songs energize you and pump you up and fill up your spirit with vigor or do they make you feel like wilted spinach surrounded by warm mandarin orange wedges and braised walnuts and drizzled with balsamic?

McCain/Palin - "Pac Mac Techno Remix" by rayzard

Obama/Biden - "Donkey Kong Theme" by csambuchino

Which One?

2008-09-18T14:37:00.002-05:00

Fuel Kigali
Hull Footsie
Null Deutsch
Aloisia Din
Scour Fara
Housman Baas
Kiah Gib
Baud Keelhaul
Viand Louella
Blueback Juan
Women Yaounde
Rob Hebe
Denouement Guernsey
Foe Souvenirs
Unstudied Sublease
Kerosene Hyena
Yosemite Pandora
Eyebrow Southerns
Herbie Salmon
Driblet Veneer
Bodenheim Bonsai
Freedom's Shoeshine
Diode Embezzle
Jackstraw Bethune
Assumed Songster
Clouds Reins
Unsubtle Wheller
Interpreter Loans
Steely Optometrist
Brick Sour Dervish

9.15.08

2008-09-15T09:02:00.005-05:00

09.09.08

2008-09-09T16:01:00.000-05:00

Pears

2008-09-08T15:10:00.002-05:00

By The Slice

2008-09-03T16:16:00.002-05:00

Breaking News

2008-09-03T10:20:00.004-05:00

I had a Greek Wrap and Diet Coke for lunch. Since then I've chewed about 6 sticks of Maui Melon Mint Orbit gum.

Blatant Visions ( of Cheddar & Cream)

2008-09-02T15:53:00.003-05:00

cupped in the clasped by the

giraffe of human resources

and neck tied in the front with a

cherry garcia fountain drink

this is the entrance to the blues room

closed off tonight

for big party

the fats

my sign in

is crowdove

password is velcromouse

i have netscaped and explored the sherry bars

of lanswick

and i have vaporized the recordings

of longdead trombonists

into my jelly fist

i am accomplished at squishing squish

and flipping bottle tops off with my bottle opening watch

wrist wrestler announces wrist wrestle event

via a megaphone attached to a mouse

date: 1038

place: hamlet of stew

mood: pieced together with veal resin

i am here in the vapor and ash requesting

sun splash

eagle face lettuce bar canadian purple hockey packet

good night big steve and invisible nancy

go to the moon

see you in the jelly box

Yes Old Dutch Makes Mustard

2008-08-20T15:56:00.000-05:00

Limes

2008-08-19T15:21:00.002-05:00

They call him Osmosis, the Picnic Expert. Things about him that you need to know, you'll learn sooner or later. He's a treasure on full display but all dumped out together and tangled. Watch him run through your mind when the lights are low and the breeze is warm off the sea. Let him run rampant and steal the ruffles from your bag lunch. Look at the look in his eye. Let him look at you looking at the look in his eye and see if you can see your eye reflected. Slap him some five. Hard on the palm so there is a sting and a warmth and an itching. That's the histamine producing slap. It's causes happiness to sweep up into your head. Where does happiness reside? In your head or in your pinstripe body latex? I don't know. But I do know that happiness is in the way I walk when I sashay down the boardwalk all full of tonic and gin. Come walk lockstep with me and ring the bell. The bell that hangs from the sky and resides in your jammy smile. Enough about that kind of talk. That's what they call old fashioned lyrical trash talk. Mama calls it Honolulu Trash Talk. I call it Sausage Bits. That's my favorite pizza. It brings me joy. Especially if every single bit of sausage is twingling with neuroblasters. Little crystals that affect the way I feel and hidden in the sausage. And me eating the pizza with you in the rain and chugging limeade and crouching down into the grass and falling into the earth like a prelude for death. I dislike the concept of death. I prefer hang gliding.

Nexican

2008-08-19T14:39:00.002-05:00

the warp and wobble of a hostess
pie
bumming around with gum
moving around
thumbs up
going around the tank looking for
prisms
something to enjoy
thanks to the chemicals

Gravy-related Fiction

2008-08-18T14:37:00.002-05:00

Garmo Frondhem stood at the cusp where the gravy had spilled and ran down in little droplets to the street. His hands shook like baby rattles and his tongue flapped out like a broken slingshot. His gravy was scattered and never to be all held in his jug no more. This brought to his lips, mouth, and inside the mouth, a feeling of mad and also a feeling of wondering where he could get other gravy. For to his buds, something like this salt gravy with the meat flavor was the only reason to go about walking and talking and making deals. Even his goatee ached. It was the gravy for goodness sake. His.

1st Paragraph from "Smash The Violin to Bits"

2008-07-23T13:45:00.006-05:00

The problem with Smitty was not his purple pupils or the nickel that he flipped constantly, it was those green jeans. He washed them by hand every night so they were always relatively clean. However, they were very shiny and that made people squint and block their eyes and made them forget what they were going to say or do or say and do. This was a problem with several people, most direly with Sunny and Robert Ficks, the Chair and Co-Chair of the Fiddler's Quarantine, a non-profit which helped find temporary housing for down-on-their-luck members of the International Violinists Guild.

sentence of the day

2008-07-16T15:00:00.002-05:00

Pasta scent leaked into the ozone layer from the giant pasta machine that rumbled and grumbled and produced reams of gorgeous, fresh pasta.

Re: Tommy

2008-07-16T10:26:00.002-05:00

Tommy combs his hair to the left and the wind blows it right back up in the air. He can't win so he decides not to try. Look at him walking down the escalator with his book bag open. Pencils and books and notebook paper falling and blowing all around. He's a king and this is his court. Tommy, your hair is free to disobey. Tommy, can I follow you around about 20 yards behind? You are midway between old and young, mean and kind.

Are you high tech?

2008-07-16T10:20:00.001-05:00

Are you high tech?

Yes. No. Maybe so.

Are you high tech?

Gadgets everywhere, gadgets everywhere.

"the number 3" - a new fiction series

2008-07-14T15:37:00.003-05:00

"Estimate the size of my face with your hands in the formation of the island swan. No, like this (showing client), hands need to be firm yet pliant, ready to change. You need work", she ran a comb through her hair and grimaced. The sun broke through a brown cloud and shone steadily through the leaden window pane. The music of Santana played softly from a radio. Gerkins were laid out on the table on a homemade plate made by an 8th grader.

The gerkins got up and walked like they were made of electricity. And they were moving like trains along a track and there was loud buzzing. That's the end.

And then everything faded to the color purple, 100% opacity.

poem du jour (plump)

2008-07-14T15:18:00.005-05:00

lowkey jersey prune - all lies
giant finger print looking for the owner - suspect

pringles rollout crice 1991 - crackdown

sugardusted steering wheel on a totalled Toyota - credible

affairs of the popcorn saleswoman vice president - laudable

justice rating of senator gail llewelyn - skyhigh

linguistic dexterity shown by the mustachioed elderly man - whippy

angler doused in gatorate showing in the moonlight - barleywine

boa constrictor painting painted on robe - delerious

early morning backgammon trouney held in silence - party

the history of the zero gravity zucchini battered and fried - clueless

ninety nine wine vials shattered in a performance piece - calendar year

incident of the rice kernal in water turning softer - phlox

plight of the zuba wearing security officer - holy

mortage fraud siploc boatride - crimp

loading dock poundcake - 2212

- for freddie mac

Vertical Wasp

2008-07-14T13:26:00.005-05:00

This vertical wasp
Is a vibrating sentinel
Dragging its tail
Like a knitting bag
And buzzing closer
than appropriate

Here's ten seconds
of paradise
In my can of Diet Sunkist

Now fly away
Past the horizon
To the everlasting land
Of melted taffy
And watermelon

Ten this fresh? How?

2008-07-11T14:05:00.002-05:00

1. Vertical Messiah - 100% Revelation

2. Taking The Taskman To Town - Avert Your Eyes Until The Snow Blows Over

3. Everyone Has Salty Brows - Divulge!

4. Wheelbarrow Cough Diamond - A More Ticklish Tom Sawyer

5. Token Stem - Red Rice and Sourdough Bread

6. William Pincher - The Sun Shines on Picnic Table #5

7. Norvax Hemmlinstein - Half Hour of Heavy Cardio and Then a Powder Nosh

8. Synth Repair - Going Back Home Into The Black Hole of Nowhere, Happy Again

9. Kar Ceys - Broken Cork Blues

10. Samual Peppers - She's Growing Up to be a Super Heroine

Food Masks

2008-07-10T21:20:00.004-05:00

I find these profoundly sad. They all look so defeated.

land

2008-07-10T11:35:00.004-05:00

water

2008-07-10T09:44:00.001-05:00

Did You Get The Fictional Memo?

2008-07-09T15:58:00.002-05:00

This is a message for Ernest with the Greasepaint. Take your little shoes out of the basket I keep in the hall. Take your little eyes off of my home. This is a memo I am leaving on my personal refrigerator for the boy named Edward Comb. Leave your hands off the handle that opens the door to my California Dream home. Hone some new skills and roll your self into a thick ball. Then spring yourself into the future like a fly on a pile of hay. Go and make your eggs under the awning of the yawning park building. The one with eyes that blink in the dark and light the ice rink for the marvelous little ice babies. I want to leave a message for the third brother who has a hypnotic scream. He is the one with the faux leather interior. I want to leave him some thin slice of some rare imported eagle cake. The kind with real eagle meat. It's a scowler's treat and wash it down with Heet. You beat me to the punch, let's meet for lunch. I want to punch you and crunch your grill. Grilled tilapia sounds neat. We are a couple grown up hunks looking at the world through squints so sweet, wondering where our next thousand dollars might come from. It's hard taking care of everybody these days. So much maple syrup and it pours out so soon all over the afternoon and into the dark. And it makes me hark. Back to the ancient days of schnapps in the park. Alone with a Myrtle Beach ice cream and some wicked silk. Scalded hands of the thin restaurant boy with the pasta burning his hand. Whoever he is, he'll understand. Now set that down. It is made of coconut milk. I'll tell you something: this is the cream stout ale that has grown with age. Switch off the light bulb and come drink a quart of it with a person like me. While I slink off into the waist deep lasagna. They say that if you stand up on your tip toes and peek through the blowing grains of sand, that you can see the cheese peeling off the giant cheese log. It is about as old as old will be, these days. I see when I squint my eyes shut, the outline of Henrietta and The Wild Shoe. Where she had all seventeen babies while biting down hard on a plastic kazoo. I tip my carpeted ten gallon hat in the direction of her invisible mansion and slip through the manifold caresses. This is the cowboy life, fresh as a epileptic marlin struggling on the hook. And now in my old age I am able to say, "Go for your dreams and mop up the floor." You turn your magazine rack towards the Hollywood Hills and scramble up the red dirt bluffs. I have a cheese grater tucked under my arm and it is made of old cast iron. They used to use it to shave blue cheese for the salads for the Queen. The Little Baby Queen with the Eyes Like Pizzas. They were gourmet ancient pizzas, the kind you read about now in magazines. The blue cheese had rust. "I'm so sorry," Jimmy said under his breath, over beers. Then he put his scarf over both ears and began to convulse like a nickel slot machine that had just rung up the triple cheer. "Here, have a carrot," Steve lifted the top on the the trick mirror and reached his hand in. It was like going into a pool of mercury. Out he pulled a carrot. Sweet, plump, and soft. Deadly. Deadly.

The 10 Best in Jazz

2008-07-03T11:50:00.002-05:00

Achy Pearson - Blue Trombone

Dingy Waters - Finish Line!
Sandy Corpsepose - Flat Hat!

Bibby Jubilee - Hats On/Hats Off

Foggy "Brother" Hines - Clean & Loud

Maple Treet - Finger Swizzle

Millet Swingleton - Tons of Brass

Briddy Clark - Shing-A-Ling and Sing!

Trina Miltons - Luditude

Samuel and David - 80's Jazz

Why you should play the Gourd Flute

2008-07-02T09:58:00.002-05:00

"When we listen to soulful music, or when we ourselves play soulful music, immediately our inner existence climbs up high, higher, highest. It climbs up and enters into something beyond. This Beyond is constantly trying to help us, guide us, mould us and shape us into our true transcendental image, our true divinity. When we hear soulful music, or when we play a soulful piece of music, we feel a kind of inner thrill in our entire existence, from the soles of our feet to the crown of our head. A river is flowing through us, a river of consciousness, and this consciousness is all the time illumined."

- Sri Chinmoy

Ninety Degrees of Spanish Wine

2008-07-01T15:33:00.002-05:00

A hundred pounds of cake on the shore left to dry out and be devoured by pigs. It was left here by the left handed fielder named Penguin Classics. He had a hair style best called Sun Invading the Moon. He a classic piglet. He a fried boy with a man's face and pectorals shaped by manual labor. The pecs of a roadie. He was a fantasy born from the blues. Born from the white snow. Born from the hole-in-one where golf balls go to die. He had sweet Penguin style jackets and a way with words. He could slice you a slice of melon without a knife or a melon. Just only words to work with. To play with. He a sweet road leading into a mess of twigs wetted down by constant rains. He of the sugar-free glaze. Strawberry vines twisting up the bones of the prism guard. Rotten squid on the shores attract young twisted wizards. They know magic. Squid sense. Liquid milk of the upside down sunset. Spilled like overcooked bean juice.

My Top 5 for July 1, 2008

2008-07-01T14:13:00.002-05:00

Icebag Junior and the Sklylights - Cream to the Walls
Jesse Van Juiceberg - Corks Uncoked Night Grief
Pencil Thin McWilliam - Monday Stump
The Gurgler - Wimp Show
Walleye Crew - Shannon's House

for montgomery's invisible hand purse

2008-07-01T11:27:00.002-05:00

mordantly into jazz guitarists
slathered with creamcheese
the daylight has surrendered to my cigar-
ette
i live for the town slathered in whipped cream
and do everything for the giant bee three
organ player go go
make me a crushed ice and pour that syrup down into
me
dead man's bop
hornets wearing porkpie hats

lycra pantsuit

2008-07-01T11:11:00.006-05:00

big tennis matchbook
ripping the ears of corn out of the farmer's handgrenade
i put it down in purple ink
my hands are cold like ice fish
up all night
watching the snow

i've been lookin in the resin
for miracles
rubbing my gums
for miracles

following the basketweaver's cues
losing all sense of thyme
tripping on the luggage of a trombone player's assistant
and drinking lime

Me Movie Make

2008-06-30T14:08:00.002-05:00

My expertise is creating the opening scene for movies. I can also do endings or specific scenes within the movie but am not able to do the whole movie myself. I don't do terribly well with plot. Or dialog. I work in miniatures, in very specific moments. I can create the movie title and make music suggestions as well. I will now give you an example of a first scene in a movie.

Title of movie: The Widow of Mayonnaise, Pittsburgh

Scene opens up onto a foggy dirt road. There are puddles. The time of day is early morning. Humid. The sound of an old automobile, a Model T, is heard but not seen. Faint ragtime music in the background. Then with a crescendo of sound, the Model T comes into frame and we see it rattle and bounce across the screen, splashing puddle water as it passes. It cuts the fog. The puddles slowly return to stillness and the sound of the car fades. The fog slowly refills the hole that was made in it when the car went by. The ragtime music continues but at a low volume. It is very scratchy. Incredibly scratchy. Then we see something rustling in the weeds on the side of the road. We see a man peeking out of the weeds. He is a Rastafarian. He stands up slowly and we see that he is a very tall man with very long, thick, dreadlocks. He has a peaceful expression on his face. He is holding a lemon in his hand. We hear a a saxophone holding one note and playing it throaty. The camera closes up on the lemon until the whole screen is yellow.

End of scene 1.

Next scene opens up in a parlor with an old woman rocking in a rocking chair. She is holding a jar of mayonnaise, cradling it like a baby. We hear the sound of a water bison splashing in shallow waters. Then we hear the call of a loon. Screen fades to black.

You see? I have just created an intriguing beginning to a movie.

adelight

2008-06-30T10:15:00.003-05:00

Unbridled Whimsy: Riders on the Wheel of Fire

2008-06-26T11:43:00.001-05:00

Heaven holds us captive. The juicebox of the new Lord has spilleth and here we are. Again! Drowsy from the rainbow journey. In bad need of a bland lasagna and a spicy coke. And ready to meet you all and venture into the giant city and make things turn into fire and light and rice flying everywhere. We are the children of unbridled whimsy, riders on the wheel of fire. We are a wreck.

Come and be with us and learn what we know and teach us what you know. This is now, not some other time and we are here. Get on the caboose with us and ride the trail of sizzle. Stick with us. Cobras and leopards and flamethrowers. Bumpy ride. Jazz mechanic. Bell ringing chef. A loon riding in a supermachine.

Come save us. Help us access consciousness.

the best story of 2008

2008-06-25T14:05:00.002-05:00

Daryl woke up surrounded by blurry crumpled papers. He felt his face and his glasses were not on. He reached out and grabbed one of the crumpled papers. It was warm. Who is Daryl and why is the crumpled paper warm? Where are his glasses? Why was he asleep? Where is he? What will happen next?

Dock

2008-06-24T22:20:00.002-05:00

TC

2008-06-24T13:44:00.005-05:00

I guess that TC is still flying his helicopter. Even though he doesn't work for Magnum anymore. I guess he is doing very well with giving rides over the breathtaking landscape of the Hawaiian Islands. He is older now but he is fit. He doesn't associate with Rick anymore because Rick is a hothead. Rick is doing OK. Still a hothead.

Rick and TC are brothers. Fraternal brothers. They share one Mommy: The Islands of Hawaii. Magnum is also one of their brothers, his Mommy is a volcano. Everybody lives together on this planet eating things and looking at beautiful things and thinking things. Including the Magnum family. Including Higgins. Higgins is a sourpuss. He was sent on a spirit journey when he ate a dozen wild oysters. In his visions, he saw a thousand legged table supporting a horn of fruit that had to have weighed 100 pounds. When he ate the fruit, the table disappeared and the fruit crushed him thereby mashing his frame metaphorically and leaving him with jellyfish powers. So now he swims like a jellyfish does, by puffing up his lungs and pushing the air out through flaps.

Marshmallow Toad

2008-06-24T12:05:00.000-05:00